I’m All About Options – Vintage Dark Humor Unisex Tee | Fat Merman Designs 💀🔥

$29.99 – $32.99Price range: $29.99 through $32.99

Smooth, bold, and ready for whatever chaos the day brings— this “I’m All About Options” Vintage Dark Humor Unisex Tee serves a perfect mix of retro style and wicked charm. Soft, breathable, and built for everyday comfort, it’s the ideal uniform for people who like their choices wide open and their humor dark enough to need a flashlight.

Perfect for coffee runs, questionable decisions, existential road trips, and every moment where you proudly declare: “I *could* do anything… and that’s exactly the problem.”

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Description

💀 I’m All About Options Tee

This lightweight jersey tee takes classic comfort and pairs it with pitch-perfect dark humor. Soft, breathable, and easy to wear, it features a vintage-style design with distressed typography that reads “I’M ALL ABOUT OPTIONS” above three old-school illustrations—a wooden coffin, a ceremonial urn, and a roaring woodchipper blasting debris.

Airlume cotton feels smooth against your skin, and the clean crew neckline keeps the spotlight on the retro woodcut artwork. With side seams and reinforced shoulder tape, it holds its shape wash after wash while serving just the right amount of chaos energy.

💀 Product Features

100% Airlume combed & ring-spun cotton (4.2 oz/yd²) — soft, breathable, lightweight
Vintage “I’M ALL ABOUT OPTIONS” graphic with coffin, urn, and woodchipper
Ribbed collar + reinforced shoulder tape for long-term structure
Side seams for a clean, polished fit
High-res DTF/DTG print for crisp textured detail
Tear-away neck label for comfort
REACH certified, FLA & WRAP compliant manufacturing

💀 Care Instructions

Machine wash cold (30°C / 90°F max)
Use non-chlorine bleach as needed
Tumble dry low
Iron/steam/dry on medium heat
Do not dry clean

🪸 About Fat Merman Designs
We create expressive, offbeat artwork with personality, attitude, and a bold streak of dark humor. Thanks for supporting small creators who believe your wardrobe should make people grin, gasp, or do a double-take.