🧜♂️ Frequently Asked Questions
Real questions. Real answers. No corporate blah blah. Just what you actually need to know.
Ordering
Do you ship internationally?
Not yet. I’m starting small so I don’t drown on day one. Think crawl, walk, run… swim. International shipping will come later once the fins are fully operational.
What if I ordered the wrong size?
Since everything is printed on-demand just for you, I can’t take returns or exchanges for choosing the wrong size. Please double-check the size chart before ordering. Like, actually look at it. It helps.
Shipping
How long does shipping take?
Most items are printed and shipped within 2 to 7 business days. Delivery time depends on your location, the shipping method, and whether the universe is being a jerk that week.
How can I track my order?
When your order ships, you’ll get an email with a tracking number. If you don’t see it, check your spam folder… or that “Promotions” tab where good emails go to die.
Returns & Problems
What’s your return policy?
Everything here is printed on-demand just for you, so I can’t take returns for things like ordering the wrong size or changing your mind.
BUT… if something shows up damaged, misprinted, messed up, or looking like it survived a shark attack, I’ve got your back. Email me at info@fatmerman.com with photos and your order number. I’ll handle it.
You don’t need to contact the printer. Don’t hunt down a third-party company. Just come to me. I’ll take it from there and get your replacement or refund sorted out.
Be honest, be cool, and I’ll make it right.
Payments
What payment methods do you accept?
All the usual suspects: major credit cards, Klarna, Affirm. Basically if it shows up as an option at checkout, it works.
Is my payment information secure?
Yes. Payments are handled through secure third-party processors. I never see your credit card number, your bank info, or your childhood secrets.
Products
How are your products made?
Every item is printed on-demand through production partners that specialize in high-quality direct-to-garment printing. No bulk bins. No crusty warehouse shelves. Fresh prints every time.
Do your colors fade?
They hold up well when treated right. Wash inside out, cold water, gentle cycle. Avoid bleach, harsh detergents, and whatever chaos gremlin lives in some people’s laundry rooms.
Contact
How do I reach you?
Email. Always email. It’s the fastest and cleanest way to get me: info@fatmerman.com.
I’m one human doing all this, not a call center. Send me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Miscellaneous
Do you offer custom designs?
Maybe. The real answer is “it depends.” I don’t officially offer custom work, but if you’ve got a fun idea, it never hurts to ask. I’m a total sucker for kids, squids, and clownfish, so those get priority. Send your idea to info@fatmerman.com and I’ll let you know if it’s something I can make happen.
Why Fat Merman?
Because it’s funny, it’s me, and because the ocean has room for all shapes, sizes, and weird ideas. Also, why not?
If you have a question that isn’t listed here, email me. If it's weird, that makes it better.