Privacy Policy
Last updated: 2025
Welcome to Fat Merman Designs, the tiny underwater circus run by one human with a laptop, a camera, some caffeine, and questionable life choices. I operate in good faith, I don’t play games with your data, and I’m not here to trick you. This policy explains what info gets collected, why it happens, and what I actually do with it.
Information I Collect
To get your order printed and shipped without turning the whole experience into a flaming shipwreck, this site collects:
- Name
- Email address
- Shipping address
- Billing details
- Order info (what you bought, size, etc.)
That’s it. I’m not harvesting your browsing history or tracking your soul across the internet. I don’t have the time or the interest.
Your payment info stays with secure third-party processors like Stripe, PayPal, Klarna, and Affirm. I never see your credit card number. I don’t want it. I wouldn’t know what to do with it. It’s safer that way for both of us.
How Your Information Is Used
Here’s what I actually use your information for:
- Processing and shipping your order
- Emailing your order confirmation and tracking updates
- Helping you with any issues
- Keeping this site functional and running
If you sign up for the email list, I’ll also send you occasional updates, deals, and ocean-flavored nonsense. I will not spam you because I hate spam more than lukewarm seawater.
Print-on-Demand Partners
Your order is printed by production partners via Printify. They only get the info required to make and ship your stuff:
- Your name
- Your shipping address
- Your order details
They do not get your payment info.
They do not advertise to you.
They do not care about anything except producing a hoodie that doesn’t fall apart.
Cookies & Analytics
This site uses basic cookies so your cart, checkout, and session don’t explode. If analytics are turned on (Google Analytics, etc.), they collect anonymized info like pageviews, device type, and how long you hung around.
No “personally identifying everything about your life forever” tracking. Just the bare minimum so I can figure out what people like and what makes them run away.
Sharing Your Information
I do not sell your info. I do not trade it. I do not sacrifice it to any dark ocean gods.
I only share it with the services required to run this shop:
- Payment processors
- Print-on-demand partners
- Shipping carriers
- Email service providers (if you sign up)
And nobody else.
Data Retention
I keep your order info for normal business reasons: taxes, receipts, bookkeeping, anti-chaos measures. That’s standard.
If you have a customer account and want it deleted, email me and I’ll handle it. Some order data might legally need to stay in the system, but I’ll explain what can and can’t go.
Your Rights
Depending on where you live, you might have rights like:
- Requesting a copy of your data
- Asking me to correct or delete it
- Opting out of marketing emails
Just email info@fatmerman.com. I’m a human. I’ll help.
Security
I use reputable platforms, SSL, and secure payment processors. That said, nothing online is 100 percent bulletproof. But I’m not cutting corners or doing anything shady. I want your data safe because I want my own data safe too.
Children’s Privacy
This site is not meant for kids under 13. If a child somehow slips through the cracks and sends in personal info, email me and I’ll delete it ASAP.
Changes to This Policy
If I ever update this policy, I’ll change the date at the top. If something major changes, I’ll say so like a responsible aquatic adult.
Contact Me
If you have questions about your privacy, your order, or the mysteries of the deep, email me:
Email: info@fatmerman.com
Thanks for supporting a small shop run by one extremely real, extremely soggy merman.