
Fat Merman Designs
Clothing That Scales! Weird, snarky T-shirts, hoodies, mugs, and more from the sometimes wet, sometimes dry mind of the Fat Merman.
$24.99
This oversized tote is your official emotional support “I’m not taking applications” bag. Spacious, sturdy, and refreshingly honest, it delivers the Emotionally Unavailable design with the perfect mix of heat and humor. Whether you’re running errands, dodging feelings, or just out here minding your business with great style, this tote carries everything except your emotional baggage—because that stays locked away, thank you very much. Confident, playful, and bold enough to set expectations from across the room, it’s the ideal companion for anyone thriving in their selectively unavailable era.
Bold, cheeky, and ready to wreak a little romantic havoc—this oversized 18″x18″ tote delivers fiery personality with its “Emotionally Unavailable But Amazing In Bed” design. Clean lines, a blazing broken heart, and unapologetic typography make this bag the perfect accessory for heartbreakers, beautiful disasters, and anyone who prefers their honesty loud, stylish, and extremely well-printed. The medium-weight polyester keeps its shape while resisting spills, scuffs, and emotionally questionable decisions. Boxed corners add depth for groceries, gym gear, books, laptops, or whatever chaotic life choices you need to haul around.
Stitched handles and reinforced seams mean this tote is tough enough for daily commutes, weekend markets, beach days, self-care shopping sprees, or dramatic exits from relationships that were never official. It reads like a sleek graphic to strangers—and a big, spicy wink to anyone who knows exactly what this kind of heart means. Durable, practical, and impossible to ignore.
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Clothing That Scales!
Snark, style, and underwater swagger — handcrafted fresh for the human world.
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